I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
