I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
