WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
