he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize