Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
