Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
