Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
