Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
