im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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