Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
