What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
