Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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