He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize