And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
