ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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