im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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