Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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