: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
