I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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