He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
