My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
