This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
