is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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