dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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