weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
