I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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