I think I died a long time ago.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
