Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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