dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
