i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
