Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my being single is dangerous.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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