I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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