i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
MIDGETS
????
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
