What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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