I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize