I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
