the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize