My brain says no but my pants say off.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize