this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
