maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
