Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
