btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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