It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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