I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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