Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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