the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
