Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
