I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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