where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
