im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
