Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
