Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
