k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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