I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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