I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
