I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
