What did we do last night that was yellow?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
