I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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