i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
